Optimism
by Lynn Cutts
According to Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence, optimism is a bigger predictor of success than your IQ, your SAT scores, and your performance on aptitude tests, especially in the real world, outside the rarified atmosphere of academia.
Goleman says this is because optimists, when they do poorly, look at things and ask, "How can I change? What can I do differently?" While they don't take failure or poor outcomes personally, they do take responsibility for what they can control. Pessimists, on the other hand, respond to unfavorable results with, "I'm a failure. I'm wrong. I'm no good," and quickly give up. Pessimists also tend to see themselves as victims. If it's not a case of "I'm not good enough," it's a case of "the world is doing this to me."
Optimism, the ability to take personal responsibility, and the ability to delay gratification are all hallmarks of emotional intelligence. The really hopeful aspect of this is that while your IQ and your intelligence, so to speak, is not something that people expect you to change, your attitude is something you can change. You can convert from pessimism to optimism. You can start seeing things in a more positive way. You can get out of victim mode. You can make changes and believe you can make changes in your own life.
So it's worthwhile to take a good, hard, realistic look at your attitude. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass half empty, or half full? (Or as my husband, a former engineer puts it, the glass is simply too big.) Do you believe you can change, and inspire meaningful changes in others, or in the world? If so, then you can.
However if you believe you are a victim of circumstance and random events, guess what? You are - because you've made yourself so.
So often, pessimists don't see themselves as pessimistic but as realistic. And yet we each create our own reality. If you think something bad is going to happen because that's just the way it is, then something bad will happen because that is just the way it is, and because of that belief, you won't do anything about it. On the other hand, if you think things are going to turn out just fine, guess what? They will - because you'll do whatever it takes to make it so. Your reality is what you create.
I know a person who considers himself an optimist, yet he is the worst pessimist I've ever seen. He thinks he's hopeful, and yet he's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He thinks he's positive, but he's looking for the trouble in everything. He thinks he's hopeful, but he lives a life in dread. So even if you think you're generally positive, take a step back from your life and see how you really see things. Do you embrace them excitedly, knowing that whatever happens you can cope with it? Or do you cringe, waiting for something bad to happen all the time? Are you enthusiastic? Do you enjoy your life? Or are you getting by pretending to be hopeful, all the while sure that something bad is going to happen because that's just the way it is?
Possibly the best way to discover if you're an optimist or a pessimist is to look at how you've dealt with life's inevitable ups and downs. Have you rolled with the punches and come up, if not smiling, at least undefeated? Have you looked at it as a learning experience, or been pleased with how well you handled the challenge? Then you probably are an optimist. If, however, you look at those experiences as proof that, "Life is so unfair," then your attitude is definitely negative.
Most likely, you'll find that there are some areas of your life in which you're optimistic and others in which you tend to be more pessimistic. I know that I tend to expect the worst when I'm traveling, and from the IRS, and yet my experiences in general would prove the opposite. But all things considered, it's worth making the effort to change your attitude in the areas where your optimism fails. Why court anxiety, stress, and ill ease in any area of your life?
How can you change your attitude? Start by being aware of it. Tune into your inner thoughts about a situation. Ask yourself if your perceptions and expectations are realistic or pessimistic. Then actively seek a rosier outlook, and put it determinedly on. You'll probably have to do this over and over again, as those old, negative and habitual thoughts will continue to surface. But eventually, you'll create new neural pathways in your brain, and positive thoughts will be as commonplace and as easy to come by as negative ones.
Believe me, it's a lot more fun to be a slightly unrealistic optimist and enjoy life than to be miserable, stressed out and anxiety-ridden from having a so-called "realistic" point of view. Being positive will make you more successful, happier, and confident. It will make everyone around you happier, more successful and more confident too. And it will help you deal with the inevitable changes and bumps in the road that life throws at you.
So check out that attitude - and do something about it! It will only change your life!
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