New
Month's Resolutions
by Lynn Cutts
What is it about
January the first that makes us all decide to suddenly reform? Why
is it that, on that date, we decide to (choose one): go on a diet,
balance our checkbook every month, take a class, clean out our closets,
be nicer to our families, exercise regularly . . . you name it? Why
should January 1st first get all the fun? What about February and
June and November 1st?
Here's a thought.
What if, instead of setting New Year's Resolutions, we set a New
Year's FOCUS, and then set New MONTH Resolutions around that focus?
Let me explain.
When we make
our New Year's Resolutions, we usually end up addressing just one
small part of a larger issue. For example, when we say we want to
lose ten pounds, what we really want is to improve our physical
health. We may resolve to balance the checkbook monthly, but our
real intent is to take control of our finances. By not looking at
the bigger picture, we're not only limiting ourselves, but also
the motivation and power that we are able to put behind that resolution.
Also, our New
Years Resolutions usually offer only one approach to our larger
issue, an approach that may not necessarily work for us. Suppose
you resolve to take a class at the community college, but then you
discover that the only class you're really interested in conflicts
with a previous commitment. You either have to dump your Resolution
(and feel like a failure), take a course you're not interested in
(and be bored), or give up that previous commitment (and feel like
a martyr). You're in a no-win situation.
What I'm suggesting
instead is that you choose one area of our lives that you would
like to improve, and set that up as a focus for 2002. It might be
physical health and well being, it might be spiritual growth, it
might be family and friends, it might be career. Then each month,
you choose something that ties in with your focus, and stick with
that for the entire month. At the beginning of the next month, you
evaluate how well it worked for you. Did it fit in with your schedule?
Did it meet your needs? If it worked well, keep on doing it. If
it didn't, you can choose tp drop it completely, or adapt it or
adjust it so it does work for you. Then you can choose to add something
else, substitute something else, or to just keep on doing what you're
doing.
Suppose you
chose physical well being as this year's focus. In January, you
might decide to cut out snacks. You discover that this works during
the day, but you're absolutely miserable without something to munch
on in the evening. So come February, you decide that you can have
a limited, healthy snack in the evenings (air popped popcorn? A
piece of fruit?), but you're going to give up dessert at lunch.
And you sign up for a daily yoga class at the local rec center.
By March first,
you realize you HATE yoga, and a daily class is too much but you
like the rec center, so you switch to an aerobics class that meets
three times a week. You also don't miss dessert, as much as you
missed your evening snack, so you stick with that program. However,
you have a big project coming up at work, so you decide that's enough
for March.
See how it
works? By choosing an area to focus on for the entire year, instead
of a single action to do, you've opened up entire new areas to explore.
You're running the show, not your resolution. Since you're re-evaluating
every month, you're not stuck with the choice of either doing something
that doesn't work for you or breaking that Resolution.
So take a look
at your resolutions for 2002. Are they working? If not, you might
try this approach. And if, like me, you never make New Year's Resolutions,
perhaps this new idea might get you started.
Good luck,
and Happy New Month!
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