Leap
Frogging
A
free online seminar!
Part
2
Last time, we talked about Leapfrogging: switching
from one project to another one every time something more
interesting came along. This week, I'd like to explore one
of the main reasons we leapfrog: Leapfroggers can't say "No."
(Thank you, Stephanie, for that insight.)
There are lots of reasons we can't say "No." We want it all,
and we want it now. We're afraid we'll miss out on something.
(Not quite the same as the first.) We don't want to let someone
else down. We're bored with our current project, and Leapfroggers
don't do boredom. We're afraid if we don't get it now, it
won't be available to us later. (Please, email your favorite
reasons to me. The best will appear in another seminar.)
So that's the problem: we can't, or more accurately, don't
want to, say "No." What's the solution?
Well, there are as many solutions to this issue as there
are people who have this issue, and we'll be exploring a bunch
of them over the next couple of weeks. But this first approach
offers one way we can learn to say "No" in the first place.
To begin with, we have to admit to ourselves that there are
only 24 hours in a day, and they are already filled to overflowing.
If we are going to include anything else in our lives, we
are going to have to give something up. That might be anything
from a favorite television show to Saturday night out with
friends, or to chairing a committee for your church or PTA.
Some people opt to give up sleep, while others stop exercising,
neither of which is a particularly healthy choice.
But saying "Yes" to a new project takes more than just time
out of our lives. A new project takes energy as well, energy
we may not realize we're spending since we're so caught up
in the excitement of beginning something fresh. So we become
even less inclined than usual to handle the day to day stuff
or to return to our old projects, not only because they're
boring but because we've used up a significant chunk of our
energy.
So before you say "Yes" to something, decide what you are
going to give up, what you are going say "No" to, in order
to fit that new project in. For example, if you say "Yes"
to starting a training program, you may be saying "No" to
your book proposal. "Yes" to the church committee might mean
"No" to free Wednesday nights. "Yes" to that slice of chocolate
cake means "No" to a flatter tummy. You might even build in
a mandatory waiting period before agreeing to anything; a
friend of mine won't make any sort of commitment without at
least 24 hours of consideration, which certainly solves the
chocolate cake issue.
Although it sounds simplistic at first, it really isn't.
This approach requires that you set priorities: Is the church
committee more important than down time? Is a flat tummy really
more important than chocolate? (Not to me, but then, that's
what they invented sit-ups for.) It gives you a chance to
look at things in terms of your big picture: Will taking on
this writing assignment move me toward getting that speaking
engagement at the Maui Writer's Conference, or will it just
distract me from the book proposal? Will mentoring this student
forward my career or keep me from taking classes toward my
MBA? And that kind of thinking is a lot of hard work.
Making a conscious choice about what we say "Yes" or "No"
to puts us back in control of our lives. And as difficult
and as stressful as it can be, it's easier than suddenly realizing
that you have 46 half-started projects, all with deadlines
in the next two weeks. Yikes.
So next time,
I'll talk about some ways to determine those priorities. I'll even
give you a "Priority" quiz you can adapt for your own life, to help
you with these decisions. Until then, don't say "Yes" to anything
until you know what you're going to say "No" to.
To
continue with the Leap Frogging seminar, please proceed to Leap
Frogging, Part 3
Part
1 | Part 3 | Part
4
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